Let's take communication for example. The kind of conversation I like best is the real one which can be kind of messy - the kind that starts one place and meanders through a thousand valleys of sharing of self and ends up clear on the other side of the mountains near a clear blue stream with melodies all around and having completed the journey together, the people feel heard, valued, and understood. I like the raw and real - the conversations where people go the distance despite their fears of being heard and not being heard. I like the ones where people are committed to going to wherever the path takes them no matter how painful because they can see at the other end a light of personal and spiritual growth that is unequaled. Our deepest and best work is done in relationship. It is also the most difficult. A deep love of mine calls this 'stick-to-it-ness' - the ability and willingness to stick to something that we care about so that the greater good can feel the benefit. It might also be called commitment. When we want to run because the conversation gets tough, it is valuable to look inside ourselves and to see what is 'chicken feed' the ego-ness of our pulling back and what is the purest grain that we want to take forward in the refining of our personality and soul.
I'm meandering today about staying in the conversation and wondering what stops me from going the distance sometimes and propels me confidently forward with a large dose of stick-to-it-ness at other times. Some conversations need to happen in a form other than face-to-face even though I think that is the best way since we are living this physical existence. Putting our feelings to paper and letting our writing hand show us the way is a powerful alternative even if the letter never gets sent. Prayer is another way to help transform what seems too messy for the time. When we return to the conversation though - even much later - the 'powers that be' have stirred the words and feelings in just the right places so we can look in each other's eyes with integrity and take the next step - even if the next step takes us far from each other.
The other night my phone rang - right on the verge of too late because he knows and usually honors my time for sleeping. I answered though and in our sleepy states we went there - to that place of raw and wonderful - talking openly about our feelings without the attachment to what the other thought - to that place of taking the person's words to heart but not taking them personally - of honoring the other no matter where they dive and soar because unconditional love was our foundation and we stuck together. When we remember that our most important lesson on earth is to love ourselves unconditionally and to extend that to all others from a solid Core of self, we can go the distance . . .
Where does your mind meander on this precious Monday morning when you think of staying in conversations, sticking with projects, walking through the fire of a scary path? Do you know what it feels like to go there - to want to run with every cell of your body and yet somewhere inside - right at the Core of who you are and what is important to you - you know you must stay? Do you know the boundary setting that we all must have when 'no' is the best answer because we can't or don't want to go there? Do you know how to discern inside yourself when to stay and when to go? Just wondering . . .
I welcome your responses. I honor any stories you want to share. I am grateful for walking the path of the messy and the miraculous with you.
Inviting you to go there - to that place of 'stick-to-it-ness' - and hoping you come out on the other side feeling heard, valued, appreciated, and real,
I'm here to hear you and to help,
Dane
Copyright 2006 and republished December 201
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